Pusheekat Diaries 8

November 24th
The week started funny with some news from Rathmalana. The family daughter called in some hysteria to say that Hish , the teenage cublette had taken out some of his earwax and offered it to the dum kitten (named peach) they have there and what’s worse, the latter has happily eaten it.
There was some serious apprehension there as to what could be the consequences of such an act. I personally wonder about the motivation.

November 27th

I swear Patchi’s knows English, that Mother Tongue of the Queen: this evening we were sitting quietly in the living room pretending we were furniture. But Patchy, who thinks she is special and royalty, just because she has a hairy tail, was making a bit of nuisance of her self in the kitchen.
Then grandmommy who normally starts screaming slightly when cats come too near her, suddenly said “ someone put that Filthy Fellow out !” which was not only a mistake regarding gender and species ( “fellow”)but inaccurate regarding status (Patchy is not “ filthy”) she’s the cleanest of us all as she never sits on the floor and has princess attitudes. Anyway Filthy is the name of another cat they had sometime back)
The words were barely out of her mouth I saw Patchy quietly and smoothly easing herself under the side board ; which is only about 6 inches off the ground and makes it very difficult for anyone to remove her unless they perform the land equivalent of the belly stroke.

November 28th -Attack of the Family Rat….

Oh, the shame of it! Well, we call him the Family Rat because funnily enough, while we are locked out in the cold watching through the windows, we can see him scuttling happily about helping himself to dustbin stuff and fooling about with the soap each night.

This is shameful. I bought it up at a recent meaw meaw , but Patchy ( who is the only one allowed in the night) was not motivated; “ Come on, they can afford one rat” was all she said .I have this suspicious that not only is she completely not interested in doing her job which involves the complete eradication of Rat, but she even approves in a underhand way of actually harbouring them. Disgusting!I can almost see its triangular face gloating out at me through the windows.
I hope it gets glued one day or something.

Patchy Translated..

PATCHYS VOCALISATIONS TRANSLATED

“MRRRP” that’s a positive rendition roughly translated as “You bet!” (in reply for example to a question like “how about some feesh Patchy?) or “Of course” or “YES!!’

“fHAAK” negative audio response usually accompanied by laid back ears and twitching whiskers .Lit: “Back off!” or “ It wasn’t me!” or “Crikey it’s a DAWWWg”

“MRROAWUU” quite negative in for example situations like being locked in the broom closet by mistake. This is a reflex expression caused by the presence of the hedious apparitions of souls of numerous rodents which she had bullied to death in her youth when she actually had had the energy to play with her food.

“PRRRRHH” very positive , last heard in 1998 before any of the stray cats were taken into the house. Usually accompanied by kneading motions and an ecstatic simple minded drooly expression like that hyena in Lion King which chews its own ankles