Mud Ghecko

hola , mes amigos or whatever Yours truely has decided to start writing again somehow and my new buddy Nury Bey is helping - any potential writers out there please help us put out this joint venture... Inspired by such greats as MURDER in the LIBRARY and MURDER IN PETTAH ...the title we picked was MURDER IN COLOMBO which sounded kind of cool but then since I felt the word murder just didnt define all the excitement here I had to change it to - MURDER ,RAPE ,ARSON and SUNDRY TRAFFIC OFFENSES in COLOMBO ...but its still open to your good suggestions - you decide- anyway from now *we will be trying to write a action adventure mystery novel set in red hot colombo - ... the production so far : Lets base it on an estate.a spooky but valuable old house. I know a vigilante- he hacked to death a child molester and buried him in his backyard or something… Dark , eh? Work with me you never know – we could be the next batman and robin, or tarzan and jane or Wallace and Grommit *till I get bored ...

Oh, just a notification … my blog on pet rescue www.colombopet.blogspot.com , has had to be moved to http://www.colombopetrescue.blogspot.com/ this is because due to the slight technical hitch of leaving our passwords lying around a typical human( homo erectus - what more can I say ?) infilterated it* and took over and is presently giving “animal lover" a new meaning over there…. Well…it wont be difficult to trace who did it from my tracking stats so lets see what happens next…. More about Ginger Nuts ,then at the real pet rescue blog… http://colombopetrescue.blogspot.com/2006/08/ginger-nut-archives.html * dont you pity people who need this sort of thrill ? I mean how low can you go? your girlfriend making you all frustrated,again is it, pussy boy ?this has just got to be a Sri Lankan!

where all the jacked up light bills go.... Shock treatment for corrupt CEB officials The government assured yesterday that inquiries would be completed within a month on charges that 12 executive officers of the Ceylon Electricity Board were involved in a multi-million rupee fraud. http://www.dailymirror.lk/2006/08/26/front/6.asp and on the same page Thousands face starvation in LTTE-controlled Wanni A serious food shortage is developing in the LTTE-controlled Wanni areas as a result of the closure of the entry-exit point at Omanthai, the United Nations World Food Programme (WFP) warned yesterday isnt that lovely and Buddhist of us? 200 miles away people are starving and down in the South next week they are increasing electricity tarrifs so that a few bathymathaas can peel off millions for their private coffers. and when they start embezzling they cant do it gently a few hundred laks isnt enough it has to be " clean Colombo out while you can !" if we are going to rewrite...

Ginger Nuts 2005 Read more at this blog about the excellent progress of bug eyed Ginger Nuts (also fondly refered to as MANTAL) who was then a slightly autistic kitten with a tilted neck and none of the usual cat reflexes, found wondering around in inaccurate circles in a Wellampitiya dustbin ... http://www.colombopetrescue.blogspot.com/

Le Grand Kapuwa Expose – or THE "K" FILES The truth maybe out there-at home its all barefaced lies! www.aljuhara.blogspot.com

my most favourite writer in the whole world and if you check these links , or better still buy a book, you will see why... "Why don't we just invite them to dinner and massacare them when they're drunk?" "You heard the man, there's 7000 of them" "Ah...so it would have to be something simple, with pasta then?" The Yen Buddhists are the richest religious sect in the universe. They hold that the accumulation of money is a great evil and a burden to the soul. They therefore, regardless of personal hazard, see it as their unpleasant duty to acquire as much as possible in order to reduce the risk to innocent people.... -- (Terry Pratchett, Witches Abroad) For animals, the entire universe has been neatly divided into things to (a) mate with, (b) eat, (c) run away from, and - rocks. -- (Terry Pratchett, Equal Rites) Of course, Ankh-Morpork's citizens had always claimed that the river water was incredibly pure. Any water that had passed through so m...

....still on the subject of elephants, I used to love to paint them , when I was a kid. * this here one however is not technically a painting - I got a wildlife CD from Pettah ,froze a good frame, pencil sketched the elephant in a few minutes adjusted the sketch with a good eraser and some spit, then it was scanned and run thru photoshop7, colour varied , and then I used the gradient tool forthe sky. I intend to subject this poor animal to more unnatural manipulations *,so do stay tuned. * paint here, means on paper . Not the other way.You figured ,right? *I mean, in *Photoshop*

(Budget available - 60k) Pros of buying a well trained Asian Elephant to take me to office - 1)Id be helping conserve the asian elephant 2)Id be totally *environment friendly* 3)Id save on the petrol thereby indirectly helping our Balance of Payments situation (wow ! Patriotic!) 4)If tuk tuk drivers try to say things to me I can gently instruct the Elephant to pick them up and place them in the nearest canal. or on a roof top.Carefully and courteously mind you. 5)I wouldnt have to worry about getting run over by maniac 138 buses . I can tell my charge to sit on them for a while and hopelessly delay them if they are rude to me. Cons : it would take me 1 hour to get to work at the lesuirdly pace taken by local pachyderms and if there are females in the nearby temples there may be what perhaps can be called "diplomatic incidents"(=further delay) and there is one little problem at my Flower Road office - parking. I guess thats why I had to settle for a moped.Dang!

ok, ok its technically a moped. Im asking 30k. its done about 3000 km and its running fine - I refill the fuel tank about once in two weeks (and i make a profit whenver i hoard a 5 litre jerry can as prices have invariably risen since the last time I stocked up -) and-best of all- I can park on a cutting board. Plus no helmet or license required so far.I want to go for a bigger bike that will take me down south on sundays. enquiries: chandrika6@gmail.com sorry - you will not get to meet me by answering to this add frivolously,you will only waste your time- my gardner is handling the sale, and he is a .hairy. red eyed. beetle chewing octeganarian. from wellampitiya.

oo. ow. ouwch..grrrrroaaaaan. thats what happens when you stay away from Karate Class for 3 months and then pop up,grinning sheepishly -1) master khalid makes fun of you and your organisation for good effect "if THIS is how they monitor elections ,no wonder the country is like this " or something to that effect , all in good cheer mind you 2)you get thrown in at the deep end and all those exhuberent 11 year olds start gleefully throwing you just to see the interesting sound effects produced when your skull hits the floor.. well that was my Thursday evening for you. and meanwhile - I just found out that are lots of friends from Kolonnawa reading (wow - there is intelligent life near Wellampitiya !!! it must be after Perera and Sons opened up) welcome yo all- Im a Kolonnawian too, altho I keep saying Colomboan-(I wish !) (well actually to be honest Im Wellampitian,* cringe *) you can now, thanks to technical assistance from Maus, enter annonymous comments on my blog.Please d...

.....this gallery is so hot, my mouse started melting and getting welded to the mousepad.Seriously. http://gayarab.org/secret.htm ps: ladies, ignore the guys on guys stuff-they are just being high spirited. ... ps again: how I fell on it is by tracking the proxy addresses of some blokes who had visited my blog- I do that kind of thing occasionally...see, Ive been watching you ,watching me... ps for the third time- now please dont stay away from here because of that. If you track mine you'll find I surf in much worse places- and Im no prude about it ,so hakuna matata!

Hey guys, As a fellow member of a "generation born into the war", I have reached saturation point where I just want to do something! I feel that anything has got to be better than just sitting around belly aching about the "useless" Govt, the "atrocities" of the war, how useless the situation is or how helpless we are to make a difference. I've decided that if I can't make the 2 parties come to the table, I'm atleast gonna help the victims of the war (IRRESPECTIVE OF THEIR ETHNICITY)! Cos' simply too many ppl have died, too many ppl have been displaced and are being forced to live under "pathetic" conditions that it's hard to even imagine that ppl can live like that and just too many of us have become indifferent to what's going on around us! So, to cut to the chase, I did a bit of digging and one of my friends found out that the College of Journalism is collecting stuff for the displaced ppl in the North and East and wi...

well since Im so blocked and wont be coming here again for some time and probably have to go to Negombo again this evening ,let me leave my friends with a bit of prose that i have written a while back- pls tell me what you think - because its your brickbats and bokays* that make me write and you never know, you may actually like it if I kept on writing... Extracted from the Golden Ankh-Aljuhara 2002 “How’d it go son?” inquired Mousey’s mother, handing him his normal dinner flat bread and fried fish. “Well there was this sort of cheaper place like downtown, where you don't have to mortgage your pyramid to embalm a dead rat …But like its kind of final, sort of…they take out more than they put in you know..” “That’s life dear, The spirit is willing but the cash is tight …I’ll tell you what, its your cat so I’ll let you keep him in your bedroom until we pass Bubastis on our way to visit the 2nd gran…” absentmindedly she was being more than just generous here since their living room was...

I was doing a google search on the phrase " Crush my frog hour by hour ,"(which in itself is a scream I will tell you about later- I think its on EvilLankans website but I cant really remember where - help me Mr Evil, I want that text on my bike -) when I came upon this bit of text The Frog and the Princess Once upon a time, a beautiful, independent, self assured princess happened upon a frog in a pond.The frog said to the princess, "I was once a handsome prince until an evil witch put a spell on me. One kiss from you and I will turn back into a prince and then we can marry, move into the castle with my mom and you can prepare my meals, clean my clothes, bear my children and forever feel happy doing so." That night, while the princess dined on frog legs, she kept laughing and saying, "I don't think so!" http://thefrogkiller.tripod.com/ and somehow the frogs it made me think of the local sri lankan guy scean.... Guys - dont get the impression Im a ...

Kittens are a miracle that God places everywhere but people do not notice. Small , perfect , sweet to smell. Innocent, Trusting. Fast to grow. Ticklish, wicked , hard to tame. Earnest, wonderful, poetry in curious motion And then suddenly they are asleep at peace with the Universe. pst. bad news,dear gentle readers : I have writers block today. This happens whenever Im given a deadline. Its astounding. It feels as if its spreading to my speech centres too, (claustrophobic paranoia!) I imagine the final outcome will be "Speakers block" (arrrk). Just picture a quiet and very boring pause during a middle class dinner in Colombo and the only thing you can think of saying is - “yes, …in fact…Ive decided to take some time off and have my Fallopian Tubes tied…”

something I did a few months back...

on the way back from Negombo I was passing thru Borella- and there is a crowd of bathymathoon ( term copyright Maus ) there looking for a bomb. I mean that - they are taking the challenge personally - you know -" last one at the bomb site is a plebe, nyah nyah "that sort of thing now dear Extremist Terrorists out there - heres how to get maximum impact for your locally made, budget priced, small scale explosives,remember - you can get truely international dimensions to the incident : - step one - take a small ordinary looking, old, cardboard box write on the sides of it " BOMB- stay clear! Highly Explosive ! " in 2 inch letters on the sides (remember to translate to sinhala too) step two - wait for a large crowd to form around the box (this should take about 5 minutes since the State hasnt come around to importing those yellow polythene tapes you see on the X FILES with "POLICE LINE STAY CLEAR " written on them) step three - throw in a small lump of ...

if its anything to judge the thickness of my skull by, I have,for the record ,been serially federalised over and over again at countless civil society workshops, seminars, conferences , symposiums , what have you and I manage to remain stubbornly and stupidly unconverted, stuck with my own (humble but pigheaded) opinions. Yesterday was no exception. The food was good, the room was fine, the beach in the morning was glorious as beaches always are at dawn, but I still dont see an "ethnic problem" , do you my wonderful multi ethnic friends? I totally approve of ethnic diverstiy and always have - it means there are lots of interestingly different hunks* around-and fantastic fusion music and lots of sumptious types of food to chose from!!! wadey, samosa,thosai and aappa - who wants to eat French Fries all day long , for petes Sake?! I do see CRIME ,TERRORISM, CORRUPTION and HYPOCRISY plus a lot of inefficiancy in our intelligence bureaus, and a lot of really dense Colomboans b...

"you did it,youre on Kottu ,woo hoo, - quick: say something scandalous or salacious -" " ( re aljuhara's blog being submitted to kottu.) " never mind all that- where can we get the VCDs ?"( re Anakarli being censored) "the problem is - we dont have enough rock concerts in this city ," (re The Colombo Wars - Attack of the Robed Ones .) "Youre going to Negombo? You mean I have the house to myself ? its safe for me to have that threesome I was planning ? Quick- I must order the choclate ice cream" ya,ya I know I said I was going to Negombo,- Im waiting for the van to show up...the other johnnies are smoking, Im blogging.

Hey, I must thank all you people who visit and read! wonderful beings like Just Mal,Mr Evil, and sittingnut (what names will you think up next!) among others, welcome to my blog...sorry, I dont know how to thank you individually... Now since Im leaving my readers for a few days I must leave you with some thing to look forward to...so I promise you next week: the Great Kapuwa Expose . You ever been lectured to by some important fuddy duddy character in a very high up post who says sanctimoniously that prostitution should be criminalised in Colombo and all the brothels burnt to the ground ? or has your goody two shoes husband been acting mysteriously of late deleting his text messages the moment he receives them and his face glows oddly in the dark??? well...yours truely has been doing 6 years of research on Kapuwa.com under a whole host of multiple personalities(which is why I never lie - its too complex to keep track of all the things I tell these good people!) - and from next week I...

one day I swear I shall write a book titled as above- but in the meanwhile - tomorrow Im scheduled to take a working break at Negombo at a Teacher Training Workshop. workshops , seminars,meetings yuh thats life these days and yup... the clipart is mine...:-) ps this is what you call a "grassroots"meeting as they are all sitting on the ground-- the alternative in NGO parlance is a "National "meeting (all in some plush Colombo joint eclairs and spring rolls served) or an National Seminar (plush Colombo joint , booze served with the food) and International Sympoisum means really big plush OUTSTATION Joint and booze and real food and people being simultaneoulsy translated into world languages and teleconferencing. and email notes are copied to Kofi Anan.

One Shot: Ranjan accused of sexually abusing Anarkalli By T. Farook Thajudeen The Child and Women’s Bureau of the police charged yesterday that film director and actor Ranjan Ramanayake had sexually abused the under aged actress Anarkalli Aakarssha while filming ‘One Shot’. The bureau made its complaint to Colombo Chief Magistrate Kusala Sarojini Weerawardena and said at the time of making the film Ms. Anarkalli was a minor. more at http://www.dailymirror.lk/2006/08/19/front/4.asp There we go again. Colombos Child and Womens bureau apparently have nothing better to do with their time. all the little slum girls who are obviously pregnant with their grandpas baby , and all the Dubai housemaids' kids' who daily have to fend off foetid advances from their kassippu drunk baaappas , the thousands of garment sector women who are foreced to submit to molestation so they can keep their jobs - they collectively pale into insignificance when someone shapely dances in the rain, in somethin...

Free Media Movement – Sri Lanka Press Release / 2006.08.18 On Violent Disruption of Anti War Rally in Colombo The Free Media Movement (FMM) condemns the forcible attempts by group of monks and lay persons under the banner of the Jathika Sanga Sammelanaya ( National Buddhist Monks Association) to disrupt the peaceful anti war rally held in Colombo on 17th August 2006. ..... FMM deplores the violent behaviour of the agitated crowds as well, and calls for non violent forms of resistance in the face of aggressive and provocative behaviour. .... Free expression of diverse ideas is a hallmark of any democratic society. Tolerance and promotion of diverse opinions are a necessary precondition for any democratic discourse. We note with serious concern the trend towards violence and suppression of protest on the part of certain extremist groups who seem, evidently with leverage among ruling parties, and functioning under a religious cover, want to impose their hegemony in the sphere of ideas by ...

I totally agree with you, Mr Evil about hypocrasy in Sri Lanka- I see it all over the place- man would I like to get my hands on one of those Point Of View Guns from the Hitchikers Guide - now for example what would people do to us ,if we ,or the Anti War bunch , were to crash one of the Saadhu meetings and start shouting and waving placards on their stage ?? and on the subject of For- War sadhus , I have it on good information that there are about 30,000 of the happy souls in robes in this country. If they want war , why dont they join the army - it would be quite uplifting to Army Moralle, dont ya think ? If they need to fight for the Dharma Dveepa - (and maybe they can find ways to justify such a fight ), fight with the rest of the army boys and when Jaffna is resplendent once more, they could come back and put their robes back on - what do you say ? " But Master, how do I not contend with a man that would contend with me?" -- Caine "In a heart that is one with nature...

...the "monk"bit , is this a Buddhist...

or is this a Buddhist? you decide! "The universe contains a certain pebble, known as the earth. And many are the men who have formed attachments to it, no less foolish than yours." -- Master Kahn http://www.dm.net/%7Ekaren/kungfu/kungfu2.html

Now you know how difficult it is to find a good domestic in Colombo. ..the paradox is that there are so many poor folks out there looking for a job but they just dont seem to get the right linkage... Mallika is a good example -she works in my office and Ive known her about 3 years now , absolutely splendid housekeeper and makes the place shine ,but the cleaning company exploits her - they pay her about 200 a day and they make about 15000 a month on co ordinating things. well , i dont blame them considering how difficult it is to manage some people but I personally would like to help poor old mallika - shes looking for a job as a domestic - she says she can look after kids , keep the place clean that sort of thing shes asking about 7,500/- a month (negotiable) but I dont consider that too steep for , say a busy executive family who needs a domestic help ? What I find trying about some colombo yuppies is that they earn salarys which run to laks a month with all the perks and then they te...

I guess its time I told you all that my pen name Aljuhara comes from Jewel of the Nile which is my favourite film of all time. My favourite character is the sufi -he sits around meditating in the middle a lot of chaos on top of a speeding train. Another of my all time favourites is Kung Fu starring David Carradine. Strange I totally respect sprituality in people but I have become rather a hopeless materialist.... Entirely on a tangent here is some of my third world clip art..some of them are on post tsunami relief themes. You need anything like this you know who to contact... and back to my musings....shucks! Im wondering if its actually spelt al jawhara...in which case I dont stand a chance on ANY search engine..waaaah!!!

well I was actually thrilled to see that somethings I say show up on Google. Just do a search on Srina Palace and my nasty but true and extremely vindictive article pops up. yeeehaa.freedom of expression. A wicked thought comes to mind.What if I were to make this website an actual forum for all those downtrodden middle class Colombo consumers who have had their civil rights mangled by various powerful commercial institutions and small print. A sort of Colombo Consumer Voice. What do you all say, my fellow Colomboians? Power corrupts, but blogspots reveal. by the way the only place on the net I found any reference to some sort of protection for a Colombo Consumer is - Mr. Leel Gunasekera. President. Federation of Consumer Associations, Fax: 94-1-500544 you people out there are welcome to tell me what happens when you send the gentleman a fax. and ps- no Im certainly not being elitist. you dont have to be a Colombian to compain about the atrocities in the marketplace these days.

Garudas are really hardy by the way - I had soaked some laundry over night, washed it, squeezed it and then rinsed it in softner again and after i hung it all out, I found this rigid crooked looking centipede (garuda - thats the maeaty overweight nasty one -apparently a vegetarian who lives in coconut trees) in the remaining water in the bucket.I poured the bucket in the drain as usual and I thought the garuda was dead and was about to lift it out of the drain with my fingers then it started waving a feeler....man that was close - photo from http://www.goldenphoenixexotica.com/cent.html I know what my ex hubby would say " You see how she washes my shirts!" and if you want your own Chinese Red Head just order from here http://www.goldenphoenixexotica.com/order.html but remember *Handling of Scolopendra species is NOT recommended

Srina Palace of Horror...... Last evening me and my friend Asanka decided to do a "shopping paarak" ,you know one of those lesuirdly no deadline escapedes where there is a vague goal in mind but you just check out the available stuff ,drool over things and gernarlly drive sales people bonkers. Her mom was already in Borella so we were to rendevous with her near the famous Srina Palace (trinkets ,fancy goods and girlie things joint) where she would chose a small imitation necklace for an upcoming wedding...as it would happen aunty had already chosen this item and was coming out with it when we all looked closely at it and decided that it really didnt cut the grade and we would like a change. Now I know this is naughty but it really shouldnt be a hanging offence,should it, women being the capricious creatures they are ,often get items changed and this was barely ten minutes from being sold packing intact etc. we walked in and politely asked if we could change this,from a burly ...

Newbies Gullarm is for Sale - I think he wants about 2 laks for it - not bad considering see: http://aljuharawrites.blogspot.com/2006/01/newbies-gullarm.html

RUIN ME ,NIGEL! GOVERN ME ! TAX MY STAMPS!