DAILY MEWS 5

February 21st
Last night things were rather strange. The “KARANT”* went according to what my Hewmies were saying. I don’t know what kind of thing this is and where it went but it made them behave in a strange way. My Hewmie could not do his usual cooking. He banged his shin on the coffee table and hopped about. He finally set fire to a small wax pipe and walked about with it while making us dinner. I think this Karant is important to hewmans otherwise they are uncoordinated like toddlers. Come to think of it they are quite silly vulnerable bipeds although they think they are boss on this planet. ** Without their technology they are practically blind, hairless and they cant even smell a rat. I hate to admit it here but if they didn’t have fire sticks and clothes and were a little smaller than we are we would be eating them by the dozen, just by reflex and apologizing later. They do look so helpless.
But I admit some of them are kind.


February 27th
I remember when I was a kit, and long before I learned that it is only acceptable to climb my hewmans hind leg if he had trouser -longs on. I used to get unbearably over-excitied when he made my salmon and suddenly claw my way up his hairy hind limbs when he was wearing only trouser- shorts. Man, Goodness, he would howl and stamp about that close to swearing . His kitchen woman is better , she wears a long flapping sail of cloth called a SKERT which is much easier to climb. and she dosnt scream much except when I put my head into the “LICK- WIDIZER” I don’t know what that thing is but they put the chicken wings in it and then make a big sound and they produce the most delectable sloppy fishy mush. But sometimes I got lost inside her skert which is decidedly unpleasant I must say.

And then there are the hewmie cublets. They are strange silly dangerous things and I heard that one of them put Patchy inside a Krisco tin. The boy one. I need another page to write about all the weird things these young life forms get up to.
They like to throw us food though so they are not completely bad.
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* Editors note: Pichau seems to be referring to electricity
* *that’s us actually since we are in control of them! Hee hee.