I must say I have lost the ability to work well under pressure. Frankly I just crack up and start screaming and keening pathetically. Its a drag on my family the two or three individuals that I do have left. It makes me wonder what happened to the quiet laid back person I was. I was happy at one time.
In a way maybe that is part of how the world runs, you cant always be in one state. No there are many states you are in and you will be in. You may seem like the same image on the surface of it but underneath you may seethe and writhe and struggle like a fish in a drying pond. Thats part of what this cosmos seems to be about, us feeling and us reacting. We have been given sensory organs to feel. Living would not be the same if we didnt have eyes, ears, skin, tastebuds, the sense of smell and a mind which grasps all the stimuli we throw at it. But then you wonder if living is all it has been made out to be. Maybe there is an existence which is more satisfactory than this living which is being battered and blown about by this organic organism we are tied to on this Earth. Not another planet but another plane, where things are always Om and that is never boring...
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