Thursday, September 26, 2024

THE DIVORCE DIARIES


October is the month of my wonderful liberating divorce, and I remember it with such mellow happiness, you might consider it rather shocking. 
The truth is, hardly any anniversary makes me so inexplicably happy!! 
Perhaps obscenely, I have many times wanted to propose divorce parties and I know if I was a minister or something I would host large-scale nationwide celebrations with free butterscotch ice cream dansal, pole dancers and/or fireworks, which ever is more fun...
I want to tell you because I trust you not to judge me… sometimes divorce can be a really good happy thing, and people really should do it more often - and with more kinds of things (not necessarily your spouse) that are just not working out- you can divorce your job, your daylight robbing trishaw man, your insufferably nosy aunt next door, your current vocation if you don't like it, your motherland if its taxing you too much and you cant take it anymore.... theres so much to be said about simply not taking it any more, giving up, moving out and starting anew! VOTING WITH YOUR FEET ! 
Someone should tell you there really isn't some celestial clock up there which is giving you points for the amount of needless suffering you endure every day to prove that you can…


Divorce is a whole lot more positive than suicide which people do in Sri Lanka with disturbing frequency…its cheaper than getting continuously drunk, and remember, that will kill you of cirrhosis before you are 59, anyway…and its simpler than living a life that is a continuous lie, because, we have only one life to live right now and it's a rather short one if you come to think of it, so hey isn't it better to make the best of the little time we have?
..What I don't understand is why people speak about it in such hushed tones, and even try to sympathize with you when they hear that you are divorced! The alternative might have been living day in day out in terror and misery, with an obnoxious, unpredictable, violent confirmed schizophrenic with control issues…and then your girlfriends actually say that they are sorry to hear you split? Sorry about what precisely? That may be the polite, social thing to say but please, its SILLY if you think about it carefully so please try and be rational! I think people should sympathize with people who have drunken or philandering and violent spouses in a daily basis and send them GET WELL SOON  cards every year (or better: GET A LIFE cards) and truly rejoice en masse when its over, and there is no more suffering required, and incidentally…. the sooner the better!
cute graphic from https://www.cleanpng.com/
Finally when all else fails, to convince- I always fall back on the words of Lord Buddha, since I'm a great believer in ancient philosophy which you can test yourself: you remember those words "mame baalasamagamo" something, something –in short: "Stay away from idiots"
There, I knew you'd understand!- anyway, one October twenty years ago really good for me, and Im feeling celebratory again woot , woot !

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