(Unrelated artwork by Chandrika Gadiewasam)
Scandalous, I know, but I have concluded that if it wasn't, the human race , which put man on the moon and invented Velcro, not to mention, outwitted the smallpox vaccine, and the bubonic plague, would have done something about it …so all I can conclude is , there must be some people out there who support it, and not just the perpetrators…I think I know a few... it's like this…
Last week, three days in a row, yours truly had to go shockingly dinner-less! I had had my share of late work at office and so it was quite demoralizing when I had to crawl home in the dark, to find my home dark , silent and cold, with nothing on the dinner table except for a few moldy rice grains and bread crusts, and a starving cat or two.
"Madam I am not able to come today and tomorrow as Champika has a Problem" my dear domestic assistant Kusumawathi notified me in a sepulchral tone in the middle of one of our Unit Head meetings . My feet ran cold, I totally adore Champika and consider her almost my foster daughter, she is 17 and beautiful like a tiny amber skinned gypsy. Where she got the light brown west Indian curls , Ill be darned if I know , not to mention the mischievous Polynesian pixie face. … Due to her wonderful hair and the unusually lovely "face cut" she has unfortunately been the focus for some unholy attention from the male population of the seedy neighbourhood where she dwells with Kusumawathi , rather a lotus out of a mud pond, I often think.
Her problem it turns out, after I dig deeper into this, is the unwanted attention of the 26 year old jobless misfit of a slow thinking cro magnon homo erectus named Sunimal who lives next door. This is the sort of bad boy brat that gives Wellampitiya its evil reputation. Jobless after his three wheel was seized in Gampaha , no doubt for being part of an illegal and unmentionable plot, (long story) and hiding from local traders of a different ethnicity because he has been involved in assaulting one of them(even longer story) Sunimal now sits evading the law at home, and generally passes his time drinking, shouting, quarrelling with his sisters , beating his mother, ogling the next door girl (who happens to be poor Champika.) and generally being a smoldering temporarily impotent threat to society.
I continue to wonder about families like this.
I realize that Wellampitiya's mothers take their duty to nurture offspring , very seriously, but sometimes this mindless determination to foster and safeguard just about ANYTHING that bursts fourth from your reproductive tract, regardless of whether it is a potential serial rapist, arsonist, murderer or general disgrace to society – goes beyond touching and strikes me as ,well just that – mindless.
The issue had been that he had hung about skulking near the Water Pipe , and poor Champika had complained to her family about this panting male waiting with his unwanted attentions to accost her ( possibly the remaining details were too lurid for my gentle ears) and when the old grandma and grandpa had gone along to investigate and provide her some measure of security , he had been "coming to the body" or launched himself violently at them ,protesting indignantly to her defamation of his character and tale bearing. …
One thing led to another and as understandable my Kusumawathi had lodged an entry in the Police Station (ah the Wellampitiya Police , I know for a fact are a truly busy bunch ) and incidentally was full of praise for the prompt way they had handled it- resulting in the miscreant having to spend a night or two in the local clapper, to cool off .
Imagine my thoughts when Kusumawathi went on to say that he was not really a bad child, and his family were quite nice, and this was just a rough patch he was going through .The family, it appeared, had apologized charmingly for his behavior (instead of writing him off and throwing him out onto the street -) and promised that they were trying to organize him foreign employment (God help international Relations ) or better get him married and settled.-as soon as possible-
And here, in spite of all the things Ive seen in my 37 years- I freeze.
Theres that strange theory again, and who does that remind me of? Actually on a slightly more middle class scale, wasn't that exactly the attitude of my own ex in laws at one point? Oh this is so déjà vu or what ever –
The strange Sri Lankan theory that our own women have, that after almost three decades of bringing up totally drunk rotters ,delinquents and blatantly anti social elements,.. the cunning reasoning that marrying them off to someone innocent will solve the issue …
Well I like that , and I will also spend sometime amusing myself drafting a suitable marriage advert for such a person, just to test my writing and advertising skills…
Can it seriously be that the reasoning here is that the poor new wife should reform said delinquent, while close onto thirty years of howling, threats, mild ekel lashings and bouts of forceful Sunday school have not had an effect, ---or perhaps the secret science to this , which Im actually missing till now--- is that the women of the family know that this new comer will take on a very important and socially accepted role of official punching bag.
Now, why did I not think of this before? I must talk to my friends who are graduates in Social Science …is there some title to this theory , or am I the first to have noticed it?
What it comes to is simply that the women of the family mothers, aunts ,sisters etc, connive to arrange the partnering of a young man they know is actually almost criminal write off material , to some innocent young female who, once the ceremony is over, will have to take on the important socially relevant role of Violence Absorber. That means that violence which would otherwise spill out into the road and neighbour-hood and lead to arrest and imprisonment, sometimes permanently, is actually contained within the household by the female specimen thus singled out. Just think, just imagine how many men would be in jail if they lost their tempers with the bloke next door and pulled his hair or shoved him around,(not to mention engaging in general rapine which mostly goes uncharted and unreported ) which is not the case if you do it to your lawfully wedded spouse? The mind boggles at the prison space these sad women save for the government! Maybe its not openly discussed, its merely subconscious but Ill have you know dear ladies, this is a plot and a plot so devious that only women can be at the bottom of it:- in a bid to keep their unlovely misbegotten criminal element sons(or brothers or nephews etc) out of real trouble, they bring in the Official Punching Bag, the all round Blame Taker and Violence Absorber who will suffer her whole life wondering why…
But the next question is , after they know about this , will the little girls of today continue to sit and bear all of this?
Sadly, my dear ladies, I don't think so. Sadly, the times they are a changing…
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