Monday, January 22, 2024

Cat-dog Bunny: A lesson in gratitude




Remember the lockdown of March 2020? When things started to happen to you and you had no control over them unless you were rich and influential? Where regimes did things to people that were too absurd to comprehend but you just had to agree to their cruel tyranny? In Sri Lanka we were told that we could not take a vehicle to the supermarket but must walk there and walk back. And only one member per family could do this.  I saw old people struggling to carry their food, pushing wheelbarrows. We went along with this, like sheep. Where governments all over the world suddenly started treating people with absolutely no respect as if they were so many ungulates, which of course they are, only until now there had been an illusion of free will….? Where people were told how they would inevitably choke to death and float down rivers because oxygen was in short supply…?Just to terrorise them and make them do what they were told? Well, surprise surprise - it worked. I was terrified.  


I did watch a lot of social media at that time and it had a very bad effect on me. Paired with untreated PTSD from previous experiences in Kenya(2 bloody coups), Uganda (Idi Amin vs the Asians), Sri Lanka during the LTTE time and during the JVP insurgence (30 years of violence, bombs and more mass graves than almost any other country in the world) followed by a Tsunami which killed 200,000 people in my country - there was this development. And I was incarcerated in a building from which I could barely emerge without the terror of either germs or the military getting to me. 


2020 was the pinnacle of anxious paranoia as far as I was concerned. (and I'm only 52) 


Bunny found us just when I needed her.

 

She was an extremely weird somewhat smelly kitten, with a bob tail and a broken leg, which appeared to have been either caught by some machinery or she was born like that. The thing about the wound was that by its nature it could not heal until it was operated upon and this was in the middle of a pandemic where we had no access to vets. It leaked blood continuously and also seemed to be suppurating. It stank. But it probably didnt have nerves and so she didn't care.


Bunny was completely unstoppable. 

Bunny has an attitude about life in general.

It is a happy and cheerful attitude. 


She simply delighted in life, and bounced gaily about on her remaining three legs regularly scraping the bleeding, pus leaking stump across our tiles and couch, completely ignoring her problems and reveling in her freedom….She had after all been living for a few weeks in a crockery cabinet because having been thrown by our nice religious neighbors into a house with 16 rescue dogs,  that was the only safe place left.  


Every evening in the middle of the pandemic, stuck in a building near the beach, my daughter and I would make it a family ceremony to go and sit on the rooftop watching the ocean. We had a few peanuts and rice crispie biscuits which we had ordered online because we were privileged people with internet and online banking. We talked about what we would do when we got through this. Maybe run away to the hills. 


Bunny would catapult out of whichever room she was in,  and skid her way up the stairs to join us, not wanting to be left out of our family event, for a moment. Once on the rooftop she would twirl around and roll on the warm cement floors deliriously happy in spite of a bleeding moldy stump. She wanted to give all of us her love  so she would try to spend equal amounts of time near the feet of each family member. She also plainly enjoyed the rooftop. Nothing could hold this kitten down! She wanted to be a part of this party! I would meditate with the hypnotic Shri Shri Ravi, we would discuss the meaning of life and impending doom and Bunny would purr and head butt us from under our legs as we sat on low wooden stools on the rooftop. 

I dreaded having to re-bandage her stump three times a day, and I found it incredible that she could lose so much blood (and pus) all over the floors and still be quite cheerful. She was infected, so it hurt and the cleaning ceremony involved some growling and swiping with claws. We worried that she would come of age and we couldn't fix her in the midst of lockdowns. And that there would be minibunnies. The thought added to my nightmares and anxiety, but she remained  completely cheerful and matter of fact. 


Bunny distracted me from my own paranoid meanderings. 


And over the course of the pandemic as lockdowns came and went and various terrible things drifted over our planet and about 4-6 million people died horrible deaths, Bunny survived because she was a survivor. 

She didn't have a tail or four limbs but she did have us to love her. 

She bounced across rooftops as I watched close to apoplexy, because between our roof and the next roof there was a pack of angry German Shepherds kept for backyard breeding and if she lost her balance she would fall directly into their jaws….She insisted on her freedom.
Have you read that cats need their tails for balance? That must be nonsense because Bunny has no tail and only three and a half legs and she balances fine as she parkours onto the neighboring roofs. She still does it and at least I've given up worrying. Definitely some daredevil leather clad biker-chick reincarnated….

We advertised to give her away because our policy is to make room for further rescues. But no one wanted some silly constipated looking half-cat. 

Of course, if you even imply that she is disabled that is nonsense too because she is as frisky as any normal kitten and somehow much more agile, sensitive, intelligent and in a word, DOGLIKE. Time passed, lockdowns opened up, we got her leg amputated and fixed her and then realized that we had no intention of parting with her. She had grown into our little family, firmly settling into our hearts and we could not give her away. We were beyond that stage. 


Bunny has attitude about food. 

She will not eat anything processed by humans. No biscuits, ice cream, milk, condensed milk, cheese, you name it she won't eat it, and as for those factory produced dry pellets, purrish the thought. Except for a particular kind of fish, called Bollo which is expensive and we have to drag home, in rain or shine. That is all. 


She has attitude about Her Chair. 


If anyone sits in it she will stare them out of it, politely and pointedly. With a steady almost accusatory gaze. It's HER chair. The one next to the balcony door with a good view of all family happenings.


As I write this, she's out there on the stairs monitoring the neighborhood in the moonlight, and checking out the various cat calls from nearby houses. Of  all the cats we have adopted or rehomed, it's safe to say Bunny is simply the most unique, in personality, temperament and absolute charm. 

And we are so grateful for Bunny, coming in at the time she did, when we badly needed her happy-go-lucky good cheer and unapologetic, furry adoration: There's nothing quite like having a cat come racing  at you and crash into your shins  when excited.

So to anyone else she may look nothing impressive, a broken, lopsided half cat- but to us, she is a character in a million…



Tuesday, November 21, 2023

Who knew there are toilet spells???

DABBE was...absolutely refreshing in terms of horror fare. Unusual, original, authentic, wildly unpredictable, (which is difficult when one has been there done that in terms of every kind of nightmare film or book around...) and set in one of my favorite lands, Turkey. From the first few minutes you knew it was going to be good. Theres much to resonate with the Eastern horror fan that you dont find in any kind of Western fare ( including massive clumps of damp decompsing "drain" hair being vomited by people and decomposing cattle skulls- which I know is a thing in Sri Lanka because my husband said he had offers for the skulls of his family's buffaloe herd when they had got ill and died) ....this was absolutely fascinating for me, because previously Id always thought of ddjinns as rather standardised and regular...and Id never watched a film featuring a Muslim excorcist!!! Move over Nun, Polterguiest and frankly any other western fare, because this tradition was way more familiar, where I come from. DABBE is also, terrifyingly, based on actual events and Nadeesha and I had to dim down the audio because we didnt want any part of demons invocation in original biblical languages, to enter our living room! and turns out thats a good thing because I later learnt that some of the demon voices had been retrieved from actual tapes from the cases!!!....(For good measure we decided to play Buddhist prayers and watch a comedy afterwards, thats how effective it was!) Twelve out of ten in terms of halloween horror fare, although it lost a point or two for its exaggerated shaky cameramanship (Blair Witch style) which always makes me nauseous and is the reason I could never get on the computer games bandwagon...and also there were inexplicable and much maligned pythons at one point just put there to add effect to anyone with snake phobias which didnt work on us because we love reptiles...(naga ganaya anyone?) But.....overall,  if you want to be scared shitless and absolutely not know whats coming next and also be affected in a visceral way, this is a treat worth waiting for. What can I say, dont do this at home, alone ....

Thursday, November 09, 2023

Cultural Horror from Turkey


Dabbe" (also known as "Dabbe: The Possession") is a Turkish horror film directed by Hasan Karacadag, released in 2006. The movie has made a significant impact on the Turkish horror genre, and it stands out for its unique approach to supernatural horror and its deep connection to Islamic and Turkish folklore.

The film's plot revolves around a group of individuals who find themselves ensnared in a series of inexplicable and horrifying events. The central characters, Kubra and Harun, along with their friends, become the targets of a malevolent supernatural force. As they delve deeper into the mystery, they seek assistance from a religious scholar, a psychiatrist, and a psychic to comprehend and combat the sinister presence that haunts them.

What sets "Dabbe" apart is its profound exploration of Islamic and Turkish folklore, particularly the concept of "dabbe." In Islamic belief, "dabbe" refers to malevolent supernatural beings capable of infiltrating the human realm and causing harm. This concept serves as the core theme of the film as the characters experience increasingly disturbing and unexplained phenomena, including possessions, hauntings, and mysterious deaths.

The film excels in creating an atmosphere of tension and fear, keeping viewers on edge throughout the narrative. Hasan Karacadag's expertise in the horror genre is evident as he seamlessly combines elements of Islamic theology and Turkish superstitions to craft a genuinely eerie and unsettling experience.

"Dabbe" has played a pivotal role in shaping Turkish horror cinema and has even spawned a successful franchise of films exploring similar themes. Its success can be attributed to its ability to resonate with Turkish audiences by blending supernatural horror with cultural elements deeply rooted in local folklore and beliefs.


The Significance of "Dabbe" in Turkish Cinema


"Dabbe" is a groundbreaking film in Turkish cinema for several reasons. It represents a shift in Turkish horror cinema by embracing supernatural and occult themes, which were relatively unexplored in earlier Turkish films. While Turkish cinema has a rich history of horror films, "Dabbe" introduced a new dimension to the genre by drawing inspiration from Islamic and Turkish supernatural beliefs. This approach made "Dabbe" both distinctive and culturally resonant.


Islamic and Turkish Folklore Influence

One of the most striking aspects of "Dabbe" is its profound connection to Islamic and Turkish folklore. The film takes inspiration from Islamic theology, Sufism, and local superstitions to create a narrative that taps into deeply ingrained cultural beliefs. The concept of "dabbe" is central to the film, and it derives from Islamic eschatology, where "dabbe" refers to a malevolent creature that will emerge in the end times.

The film draws upon various Islamic and Turkish cultural elements, including verses from the Quran and references to djinn, exorcism, and the evil eye. These elements are seamlessly integrated into the story, adding an authentic layer of cultural significance to the horror narrative. "Dabbe" effectively explores the fine line between faith and fear, and it engages with the audience on a cultural and psychological level.


Supernatural Horror with Cultural Authenticity

"Dabbe" excels in creating an unsettling and eerie atmosphere, setting it apart from typical horror films. The movie is not reliant on jump scares or gratuitous violence; instead, it builds tension and fear through an intricate narrative and a profound connection to cultural elements.


The film's approach to supernatural horror is deeply rooted in Islamic and Turkish beliefs, making it an immersive and authentic experience for Turkish viewers. By incorporating these cultural references and folklore, "Dabbe" resonates on a level that extends beyond typical horror movie tropes.

The Influence of Director Hasan Karacadag

Hasan Karacadag, the director of "Dabbe," is a central figure in Turkish horror cinema. He is known for his expertise in the horror genre and has contributed significantly to shaping the landscape of Turkish horror films. His dedication to exploring the supernatural and his ability to create a sense of unease have made him a prominent figure in the industry.

"Dabbe" is one of his most notable works, and it showcases his skill in crafting a tense and suspenseful narrative. Karacadag's ability to blend elements of Islamic and Turkish culture with horror themes is a testament to his talent as a director and storyteller. His influence on Turkish horror cinema is undeniable, and "Dabbe" remains a standout example of his contributions to the genre.

Impact and Legacy

"Dabbe" has had a lasting impact on Turkish cinema, particularly in the horror genre. Its success has led to the creation of a franchise of films that continue to explore themes related to supernatural entities, demonic possession, and unexplained phenomena. The "Dabbe" series has gained a dedicated following and has further solidified the film's place in Turkish popular culture.


The film's unique approach to horror, its cultural authenticity, and its ability to tap into the fears and beliefs of Turkish audiences have made it a significant landmark in Turkish cinema. "Dabbe" has shown that horror can be a vehicle for cultural exploration and reflection, and it continues to be discussed and celebrated by both film enthusiasts and scholars.

In Conclusion

"Dabbe" is a Turkish horror film that has left an indelible mark on the country's cinema. Its exploration of supernatural horror, demonic possession, and cultural beliefs has set it apart as a unique and culturally resonant work. The film's success, the influence of director Hasan Karacadag, and its impact on Turkish horror cinema showcase its significance within the industry.

"Dabbe" is more than a horror movie; it is a cultural exploration that engages with Islamic and Turkish folklore to create an authentic and unsettling experience. Its legacy as a groundbreaking and influential film in Turkish cinema is well-deserved, and it continues to be a point of discussion and admiration among film enthusiasts and scholars alike.


Tuesday, October 03, 2023

BLISS in the here, right now

- Chandrika Gadiewasam



From human birth to death, in a maddening cyclical pattern of infancy, childhood, education, graduation, marriage,  reproduction, aging and continuous drudgery  to survive, through a whirlwind of meaningless traditions and festivals, milestones, new years, birthdays,  weddings, and  funerals, sickness and health... The human creature constantly seeks happiness and fulfilment and that SOMETHING….

But…. are we ever content with what we get ? Are there moments when TIME suddenly stands still near a lake, with just the wind in the trees, and the moon above, where we suddenly stop to think and wonder about the meaning of life?


Where is this happiness or satisfaction that humans search for? How long does it last and how do you make sure that you can hold on to it? Haven't you actually tried until you cried? Wouldn't life be just perfect IF ONLY, if only you had that promotion/partner/child/ property/vehicle/ recognition/or appreciation  that you couldn't? And then by luck, just as you finally got what you wanted, it turned out as unsatisfying, as aggravating and as plain empty as a soap bubble in the wind? 

And yet….paradoxically could happiness in fact be found in the acceptance of just such emptiness and in the fleeting beauty of a rainbow coloured sud? 

Let me explain.

Last week though I was privileged to accompany a set of seekers led by a different kind of teacher, on an intense journey into a higher consciousness. 

The venue was among the heritage sites of Anuradhapura,  the land of ancient kings and of power and splendor, now mercifully left mostly deserted by latter day Sri Lankans who prefer the noise and traffic of modern cities. 

The group was mostly a modern crew of successful Colombo/Kandy professionals, many from stressful highly paid jobs, a number of adventurous youngsters who were searching for something different to the usual, and some ordinary middle aged people like me who had seen a lot of suffering and needed to find escape from the continuous pain within.

The lockdown of Colombo a few months ago had taken a frightful toll on me, dragging me through the valley of death in my mind;  curfews, lawlessness and injustices triggering long suppressed memories of terror, helplessness and abandonment and leading to full blown anxiety. ( I'd been in a bloody  military coup in Kenya where curfews held implications of tyranny, torture and terror) The current too was a period of extreme stress in terms of work, income and health, usual unsatisfactory human conditions common to us all, but not any less painful for their familiarity.


Anuradhapura has always been to me a vaguely remote, dry far away Sri Lankan place with old earthen stupas. They are pretty amazing architecturally but I never understood what pilgrims want to see there, and frankly I still don't.  I don't think I particularly want to live there, do you? The water is horrible, and infrastructure is not all that great, though the scenery is divine. Any Buddhist temple or really any place of worship is just as good as the rest, to me, I enjoy the cleanliness, silence and  atmosphere and the leafy Bo Trees or any trees for that matter, and I can feel peaceful in the environment for a few hours maybe: but that's about it.


Then it begins. 


That maddening internal monologue. 

That voice in my head which tells me what I should be doing, why I have failed, why I should have done things a different way, why I could have been better if only someone or something did not  cheat/abuse/obstruct/ aggravate me, how I am much better or worse than the next person, why these things always happen to me..until the voice tells me to hate people, to hurt myself, to try to be someone I will never be...and tells me that I would be happy anywhere else but here, and now. Have you heard this voice talk inside your head until it becomes deafening? Well...that just the way it is and it turns out that voice is a hallucination, and we can after all make it stop torturing us. 


And that after it actually becomes silent... There comes a pause, however small, however light, of such brilliance, and such simplicity that we KNOW, in that moment. 

And we know nothingness.

And somehow our awareness breaks beyond the skin of our earthly bodies and expands infinitely outwards...in a shimmering celebration of the limitless human potential for joy and fulfillment in the moment called the present.

And then we understand, it is possible to find bliss, in the here, right now. 


……………………………………………………..

For more details on this life changing program you can contact me at hanwella7@gmail.com

Photograph from https://vocal.media/journal/basawakkulama-tank-sri-lanka by Zeloan



Monday, October 02, 2023

The Second Arrow.


Life after Rape: Stay away from the Second Arrow.  

In Buddhism we are told that the mind is the forerunner of all conditioned things. A lot of pain is caused by our minds- which is indeed strange considering how many millennia we homo erectus spent trying to evolve a bigger and more intelligent brain. Have you seen a dog with TVT? It's a disease where the animals private parts become cancerous and end up becoming a bleeding, jellied, skinless, formless mass, you can google TVT dogs, if you want the visuals.  I sometimes think that if we are to believe in reincarnation TVT may be the punishment meted out to reborn rapists. And I think of them with definite compassion.

But have another look and you will realize that many of these animals don't seem affected by this horror, not even as badly as we are as onlookers. This probably isn't because they don't feel pain. But it could be because animals, way lower though they are in terms of intelligence, have not reached the stage where they are able to mull on the reasons for pain or to dwell on the effect pain has on their ego. Animals generally are good at living in the present moment. You give them something to eat, or they see a potential mate and everything else is forgotten.

If you have ever been raped, there is a theory that an alternative thought process might help you. It tries to help with the emotional pain. The physical pain will probably end in a few days or weeks, our human bodies are quite resilient that way. Have you experienced a protracted childbirth or a chronic UTI or yeast infection? Those hurt like hell itself. After difficult childbirth there are sometimes perineal tears or fistulas which take months to heal- or maybe never do.  If you talk to someone with a UTI or yeast infection, or kidney stones, the pain is real, maddening, and continuous. I've personally spent hours contorted into fetal position, on the bathroom floor writhing at the pain of a full-blown UTI, simply crying helplessly and I imagine other people have too.

This doesn't mean for one minute that a violent gang rape is any the less horrifying. But there are two aspects to rape or in fact to any kind of pain and it can be said that the second aspect or the assault on a person's integrity, to her emotional autonomy is much more prolonged and horrifying than the physical aspect. It involves the affront to one's ego, the perceptions of stigma attached the whole "how can I face society again?" (Which is well fueled by Eastern society's attitudes in particular) and the inevitable resultant hatred of the attacker(s) "how dare this person do this to me?" as well as incredible amounts of self-loathing. "I should have/could have done something different to avoid this attack, It's my fault."

This is what the Buddha meant by referring to the Second Arrow. This pain is actually in the mind and so will hurt much more than the actual physical pain of the assault did. This pain is a memory of pain that is not in the present moment. And this secondary pain is preventable. It requires two things, a change in attitude, and continuous mindfulness. The mindfulness part is needed to catch yourself going down those well-worn mental pathways that you always travel.  It isn't easy by any stretch of the imagination. But this is a good example of a situation where loved ones, society and above all your own mind can become your worst enemy.  The metaphorical second arrow is preventable pain, the pain that arises in the mind following physical pain. Often the physical pain is long gone and only a faint and uneasy memory, but the nightmares, the perception of that pain and the ego affronting circumstances of that pain are what torture us into the future. That is the second arrow which we refuse to take out. Needlessly. How can we begin to change that?

Consider a woman who has had a protracted messy childbirth involving about 20 hours of intense pain, and blood and tearing. Human society finds a way to make this noble, heroic and the woman will come out of this rosy-cheeked, talking about how anything is worth it for her beautiful baby. The human mind, in the interests of successful procreation even numbs the memory of it and soon the same woman is ready for her next experience of childbirth which although it involves her body being torn in half and her private parts bleeding and being mangled, society has forcefully labeled as "joyous".  There are women who cannot conceive spending years trying to get to this stage even if the expensive attempts end in bleeding miscarriages (not to mention years of savings being spent on it). But because it's a part of what we women are supposed to be doing all of this is acceptable. The complex human brain too colludes in this trickery: have you ever heard of a woman reliving a nightmare of a protracted childbirth? Never because apparently, there are chemicals that work to completely erase that memory.

We are not so blessed when it comes to sexual assault, and even a relatively minor incident of unwarranted groping we receive on public transport can keep us traumatized, depressed and hollow for days.  

I can say to let it go because it is a metaphorical arrow not a real one, and I realize that may not be as easy as it sounds.  

But you need to take control of your mind and prevent it from working against you. 

It can be done.   

Wednesday, August 30, 2023

MY QUANTUM PORTAL TO HELL

Fifteen years of messing with proposals and deadlines and an uncoordinated head office- and this was officially the last straw that broke the camel's back.


This cartoon is from Morten Morland Times

So last week my team told me they were all working feverishly on a deadline to submit a bid to the United Nations supplier portal. You just have to upload it, they said. It will be ready very soon and we still have a day more, they said. Only you can do this techy part, they wheedled. 
Well, I do know a thing or two about USAID and EU submission portals online, so I was suitably uncomfortable. The previous year a colleague and I had been struggling till 4 am in the morning ( which was a more reasonable time in New York) fighting with dodgy broadband and the tedious UN Atlas portal but we had had about a week to get familiar with that. Even then I had vowed I would not do this again. 
Now the bad news was ATLAS had been shut down and QUANTUM had taken its place and I had only about 24 hours to check and edit the documents we were to submit as well as to get a grip on the portal. 
If you think you can upload your proposal in one of these portals a few hours just before the deadline, think again. 
First off we couldn't get through because someone in the office had the passwords and no one knew who. 
That's a long story itself. So after half a day hysterically trying to break into my own forgotten email accounts and find old passwords the local donor representatives informed us that the password was with our Executive Director, a brilliant man who on principle does not involve himself with IT functions. And why should he? But then... the next question is.. why should he have the passwords? That intellectual giant was in the middle of a string of high level policy formulation meetings and didn't fancy passing OTPs to me with annoying regularity. That's a different problem which we solved at the end of the day by begging for our own account. Until then if you left the computer for about half an hour the whole portal shut  down and you had to call the person with the OTP passcodes. If you think you can have lunch or go for a bath or even take a decent dump during this process, perish the thought. Do you want to keep disturbing a grouchy workaholic non -profit Executive Director ...?

But what about Tec Sup you may ask? For this proposal we had some wonderfully co- operative Sri Lankan officers - but then 1) for transparency reasons they cannot actually go inside our profile to help us and 2) during the previous submission during the new year season there was no one contactable and we were advised to write to Bangkok ... one letter took 4 days to reach us- my question being why cant the portal be made straightforward in the first place. With large buttons at the crucial points. with highlighted emphasis on the important areas and without standards letters from the UN taking up half a page.

Steps to the Countdown
  • Start by watching the 2 hour webinar on how to work with the portal. You need to watch the whole hundred minutes whether you want to enter a fully fledged 3 year contract to construct a dam in Burkino Faso or whether you just want to supply bananas at the canteen. Then there's a hundred and eleven page user guide which if you follow carefully, promises to explain this insanity. Even if you know your Office software and three programming languages this is still torture.
  • The whole QUANTUM PORTAL does not allow bookmarks or links (because they want to be more secure than even HSBC) so there is no way to save any reference point to be able to get back to it - you will have to memorise the entire pathway of each time you want to reach a page. If you make a wrong turn you end up in a dead end and you cannot go BACK (there is no back button) Theres a DONE button but thats different. It means you did whatever you wanted to do but it doesn't navigate you away...
  • Click Supplier portal in the Cover letter . It will be your launching point.(But it wont be in large letters or highlighted or anything. You will have to read the whole page to locate it ) It might be slightly blue, but there are other blue text bits just to make the whole thing interesting. Like various email links...imagine searching for it an hour away from the deadline
  • In the Supplier portal at the left hand lower corner under NEGOTIATIONS, click MANAGE RESPONSES. This is a very important first step and of course the words will be discreetly hidden at the bottom of the page to throw you off.
  • In the MANAGE RESPONSES page click your RFP (this is after you have searched for half an hour for the relevant RFP and then expressed your interest in it) There isnt an easy search feature. You have to adjust variables regarding the region, time period and whether you were invited to bid- one wrong answer and nothing happens. In your REQUEST FOR PROPOSAL PAGE you have to click CREATE RESPONSE. You may want to know the difference between MANAGE RESPONSE and CREATE RESPONSE, because ultimately they seem to do the same thing (-which is draft your bid in stages- and thus could simply have been called DRAFT YOUR DAMN BID). Well its another of those mysteries and it was just done to confuse things. Just do as they say, after all Donors Know Best  
  • In the CREATE RESPONSE PAGE most of the page is taken up by a standard letter from the UN  but there there are 4 discrete links in the left hand corner - Overview, Requirements, Line, Review...
  • If you click OVERVIEW you get a page which is mostly white space but you can put the reference number and save  something-and send any comment to the UN. That seems to be the whole point of the entire page. That and hosting other buttons which were repeated on all the other pages...
  • In the REQUIREMENTS page in the right hand side is a tiny drop down menu with five sections - General /Administrative/ Bidder Declaration / Technical Proposal /Financial Proposal - each has sections that need to be edited and attachments need to be uploaded where I found a tiny discrete dull black plus sign (+) like my cats anus when she's not suffering from Irritable Bowel . Unlike her ass, the plus sign is about the size of a sodding match-head so that you need a magnifying glass to find it, if you even begin to guess that an ass-shaped plus sign could be so fundamentally important. But without it you cannot begin to upload stuff  Of course you would know how important it is if you had read the %#$@ manual, all one hundred and ten pages of it, but remember the deadline for uploading is only twenty hours away, thanks to miscoordinations between Admin and Finance etc etc  
  • Then also in the REQUIREMENTS page there is a tiny line FONT SIZE 6 or something which says  Kindly upload financial proposal documents in financial section (Financial Evaluation - Commercial) only. If your financial proposal is visible in any part of the technical section, your proposal will be disqualified.  NICE TOUCH United Nations, NICE TOUCH! although this probably also disqualifies anyone over 45 because we cannot read text at that size! oh wait, did you know that if you hold down CTRL + Scroll you can adjust the size of what you are reading? No? Ok, well I did and it didn't really help me!  
  • The LINES page is because the UN sometimes needs one whole page of webspace to enter the budget total into one tiny box one inch across/ sometimes if they feel frisky they will ask for a breakdown based on deliverables... 
  • Most of the dialogue boxes are the size of one large sentence of text and have unwieldly scroll buttons, but the page is large and bare: In fact overall the whole QUANTUM portal has a lot of white space that feels as soothing as a strobe light in a mental asylum. I can feel my left eye twitching as I write this.

Im sure the IT Crowd who developed it will have lots to say about their lovely secure portal. Trust me I welcome a debate on it: I WANT  to be proven wrong by people who have used the site and found it lovely, functional, practical. 
What I did hear though is that a number of grassroots organizations (read, simple genuine people with actually functional ideas who don't know about the portals made-up jargon) with proposals drafted in advance had given up bidding when they came to the portal simply because they didn't have technical people who could figure out that twaddle with a deadline looming over them.(or perhaps couldn't read the important print in font size 6)   
And these are just a few of my experiences over the space of 36 harrowing hours trying to upload a last minute proposal to help drought and/or conflict-ridden third world communities. 
The more evil comments I feel like making have been self censored. 
I will need a month of meditation to get over this one. 


Sunday, August 20, 2023

The housewives guide to competing for freelance work

The housewives guide to competing for freelance work

  • Chandrika Gadiewasam for Kathru.com


How to actually find rewarding work from home? 

Be available. Be dependable. And deliver on time! 



You know who they are, they sidle up to you at various functions and say that they are looking for work, and giggle bashfully and say can you send some work their way. 

Comfortable looking, slightly frumpy stay-at-home moms, previously smart, professional,  gainfully occupied women, now stuck at home with a kid, a dog or more challenging- a husband. Suddenly they want work, they want the money, but they are simply incapable of understanding that dread word " deadlines."


Well, deadlines are deadlines whoever you are, and companies have to work with deadlines. That's how they make the money with which you are paid. You have to understand this. Frankly I've personally had it with employing housewives to do my sub-contracts. Here's why. As an employer I'm completely fed up with the pall of apathy that falls over them once they are in the domestic environment, shielded by the comforting financial security of a possibly bossy husband and the large and incredibly varied list of excuses that they can effortlessly manufacture at home. The list of excuses I've been given by housewives who fail to meet deadlines they have sincerely committed to, is painfully inexhaustive (though exhausting to look at) and boggles the mind. 

  • I had to cook for my son (the guy was about 15 at the time mind you)

  • Weekends I have to do the laundry/ bathe the dog…

  • My husband and I had a trip planned for the long weekend 

  • We had an almsgiving

  • I have to wrap my kids' exercise books for next term…

  • my internet isnt working (for the last 3 months)


I'm sorry and please consider me a completely insensitive, cold hearted, spoilsport who doesn't understand. If you expect to be given freelance work and if you aren't among the echelons of the great and famous freelancers who can afford to turn up their noses at decently paying work - then my dears, you have to be available, be dependable and be able to deliver on time.


I'm not saying to agree to unreasonable nonsense from employers. Low payment is one set of nonsense and nasty deadlines are another. A potential contractor once told me that I would get four days to proofread his entire annual report and said the previous proofreader had passed away. Why am I not surprised? He probably tried giving him a two day deadline and the man likely had a heart attack. Don't agree to nonsense like that. But within reasonable pay and reasonable deadlines and with a sense of empathy for the employer's point of view, please do your best to budget the time you need, add a comfortable margin for unexpected but inevitable domestic chaos, and quote in a way that is fair to you and fair to your contractor.

Another thing, when you work from home the home folks tend to think they can still expect the usual attention from you, which is not fair on you because you will be multitasking and you will be stressed. So before you agree to a contract, please do enlist the support of your mother in law, husband, children and perhaps even the dog, by explaining to them that for a while your work will be priority and they must support you, be quiet and get some of their own stuff sorted. Lock yourself away in a studio or take the laptop to the bathroom if needed, where you will not be disturbed. Promise everyone a reward after everything is over, and reward yourself too! 

That way you will make a reputation for being dependable, which is the difference between being hired, and being passed over. Like a number of very sweet, earnest and enthusiastic friends of mine, who I would never actually dream of doing business with…


  
…………………………………………….

Also read this article to understand why women's participation in the labour force is good for everyone.