Wednesday, February 22, 2006

the week to thursday

What a wonderfully wild week I had.Half of it is self censored ,sorry.

I also discovered a cousin of mine who I never knew existed and he turns out to be the cutest little hunk you ever did see (where have you BEEN all my life ?) (ok not exactly little - hes six foot and must be about a hundred kilos and adorably podgy )- ...and he sounds almost as happy to discover me as I am to meet him- its nice to be discovered and I never actually had cousins , since we were so busy avoiding my relations - this is fun, even if Im about 20 years too late for it...

and then yesterday I got into a friendly tiff with a very important friend of mine who was being terribly old fashioned and told me sanctimoniously that I should never marry again but should look after my kids and focus on them.She told me that my daughter would probably never forgive me if I did so and would become a lost case* like me...blunt honesty like that I value but I do beg to differ

Now just to get this clear, I love my kids like any mother does. Neither more (and Im not interested in competing in that sanctimonius sri lankan competition titled MS PERFECT MOMMA 2006) nor less than the fantstic maternal parents next door , and I would do anything I can to help them if they need me.They know this.
But stay alone and be a martyre just to prove that I want to FOCUS on them ?
I sure hope that I have not brought up kids who are selfish enough to WANT their mother to live her whole life alone , what a burden I would be to their consciences if they later turned around and found me limping around behind them dribbling humbly for scraps of their attnetion when they are busy executives with families of their own....
No I would actually prefer to seek happiness my own way (either married or spunkily and drunkly alone -) than FOCUS all my energy on PUSHING them around in dierctions I think is correct and desiging their lives for them which Im sure they have every right to do themselves. And hey I have this feeling that the cherubs would actually be happy for me if I were happy ....

But of course Mouse told me one word of caution about it all " Sis, "he said calmly at dinner "My good niece is at a stage where she is so wrapped up in Bollywood and getting her hair tinted and straightened I dont really think she would NOTICE if you married again, let alone complain. But one thing she would NEVER forgive is if you deleted the Need For Speed 2 Game from your hard drive "

thank goodness someone agrees with me ;-)

ps *Personally and honestly, I dont think Im a "lost case ", although many Sri Lankan people assume that because Im a divorced lady in Sri Lanka Im a total ruin. Im actually very cheerful , happy when left to my own devices and I honestly think these last two have been the best years of my life. I also would actually think it a bit of a victory if my daughter grew up to be a bit like me , a person who dosnt have any enemies , who never lies to herself (if you're true to your self it follows that you usually cant lie to other people !) and who would help anyone (or animal ) who needed it and tried to cheer up anyone who crossed their path .....
Look carefully if you will at the faces of the married ladies you see in the passenger seats of many luxuirious vehicles cruising around Colombo in the mornings . They are neat , clean and fashionable and they are not talking to their husbands or even looking at them. ...and they dont smile.

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