Ladies and Gentlemen...I give you ...Terry Pratchett

my most favourite writer in the whole world and if you check these links , or better still buy a book, you will see why...

"Why don't we just invite them to dinner and massacare them when they're drunk?"
"You heard the man, there's 7000 of them"
"Ah...so it would have to be something simple, with pasta then?"

The Yen Buddhists are the richest religious sect in the universe. They hold that the accumulation of money is a great evil and a burden to the soul. They therefore, regardless of personal hazard, see it as their unpleasant duty to acquire as much as possible in order to reduce the risk to innocent people....
-- (Terry Pratchett, Witches Abroad)

For animals, the entire universe has been neatly divided into things to (a) mate with, (b) eat, (c) run away from, and - rocks.
-- (Terry Pratchett, Equal Rites)

Of course, Ankh-Morpork's citizens had always claimed that the river water was incredibly pure. Any water that had passed through so many kidneys, they reasoned, had to be very pure indeed.
-- (Terry Pratchett, Sourcery)

Cuius testiculos habes, habeas cardia et cerebellum.
-- (Terry Pratchett, Small Gods)

http://www.lspace.org/books/pqf/

http://homepage.eircom.net/~odyssey/Quotes/Popular/SciFi/Terry_Pratchett.html